Qu'est-ce que le mariage?

What I expect:

Marriage has provided some subtle steadiness, a ballast, a deeper sense of reassurance that we're in this together, and we'll sort it all out.

From here.

I really love the idea of marriage as a journey.

The idyllic image of the wedding dress hanging in the window, the pre-preparation is such a homage to this journey that really is beginning. What I think is sad about weddings is that this beautiful event, this gathering and celebration of the youth of love, this coming together of centerpieces, cake, and merriment is a garnish designated only to the 1st day of happiness. Marriage has such astigmatisms and I think that in part this can be attributed to a lack of expectant beauty for the future. As a culture we allow it to become boring, dry, dull, everyday. This idea of wonder, magic, and super-stardom should be incorporated into every day to save and not starve that which makes us inside glow.

From here. And also from the same place (what a great blog!): Pre-marital counseling, and why I think you should do it. Here are all her posts on marriage. To read and re-read.

"Ah ha! I realized. Now we are two*!"

*Two. Count it. Two. None of this two-become-one bullcr*p. Why the hell would I want to go from being One to being One-Half? Right. I wouldn't.

Haha! YES!!!

[EDITED to add a link to this beautiful story about love and marriage...

This is SO TRUE:

• When you love yourself, you will appear more beautiful to the outside world.
• You cannot find love, it finds you when you are ready. Instead of waiting for it to “happen“, spend time focusing on improving yourself and loving yourself.
• We are all actors in the universal play of life. We cannot predict the future with certainty, and when something is meant to happen, it happens regardless of how we expect things to play out.]

From Anita Diamant's Pitching my Tent:

Why marry?

Because marriage publicly affirms the possibility of moving toward another person without reservation. With that momentum, we are propelled toward the center of the heart, toward the center of the universe, and however far that gets us is farther than we'd otherwise go alon.

Why marry?

Because every wedding enacts a personal connection to the universal story of the human hope for wholeness. Because by stepping into the hyperbarically charged space on the altar (in front of the priest, under the canopy), the bride and groom join in a dance that goes all the way back to the beginning of memory.

Getting married is an attempt at turning air into matter, transforming the ineffable workings of the heart into things that are "real": the invitation, the dress, the ring. The words that constitute a wedding are magical incantations of the highest order. [...]

Every wedding is an invocation of peace and wholeness and connection and joy. Good wishes flow from family and friends, through history and community, with wings and prayers and everything that might turn out to be holy in the universe.

So that's why [we] got married - to receive that shower of blessings, hoping with all our hearts to make them last.