Monogamy

Il me semble qu’il y a beaucoup d’articles sur les relations et les bébés dans le Globe and Mail dernièrement!(Conspiracy theory: ils veulent faire monter le taux de naissances!!)

Ce matin j’ai lu un article qui parlait du livre qu’un couple marié (un biologiste et une psychiatre) a écrit sur les animaux monogames. (À lire : Strange Bedfellows: The Myth of Monogamy.)

Extraits tirés d’une entrevue avec les auteurs :

"Technically speaking, no one is cut out for monogamy, but at the same time, nearly everyone with a functioning frontal lobe is capable of it."

Many of the monogamous animals have babies that require a lot of rearing. […] Does childcare drive monogamy?

Prof. Barash: Yeah, it's pretty much needed.

Dr. Lipton: To make modern children successful, you have to invest quite a lot of energy. […] the risk to your offspring may just not be worth it at that point.

Prof. Barash: That's like beavers, who have this tremendous investment in their lot and their dam.

So would aspiring monogamists do well to invest in children, a home and maybe even a business together?

Dr. Lipton: It's interesting you said that. That's kind of us.

We have children we've invested a huge amount in, plus we write books together, plus we run a horse farm.

Prof. Barash: That's one of the bottom lines: if you want a good monogamous relationship, it really helps to rely upon each other.

[…]

When it comes to monogamy, the authors' inspiration comes from Prof. Barash's late parents. Married for 64 years, they were bridge partners, dance partners and business partners, selling flowers at a small shop in the New York subway. [skydiving team partners! swing dance partners! autres idées? business partners ça peut être bon pour le couple mais en même temps c’est peut-être bon d’avoir deux emplois stables ailleurs aussi, c’est plus sécuritaire financièrement]

[…]

The authors have their own tips for aspiring monogamists:

You need to fall in "deep like" before having sex: "Good friends make good monogamists (and better lovers, too!)"

Undertake an assessment of your prospective partner's genes, behaviour and resources . Assess yourself as well.

"It may sound cold . . . but Malagasy giant jumping rats, dwarf fat-tailed lemurs, California mice . . . do just this, and there is no reason that human beings should settle for anything less," they write.

"Understand that you may have penchants for being non-monogamous but that doesn't mean you're not healthy or normal or that you don't love your partner," Prof. Barash said. "The argument that people have sex with other partners because the genes made them do it is fictitious," Dr. Lipton said. "We have judgment that can override these flavours, just like we can walk by a hot fudge sundae."