2010, Part Five: Our Wedding

I've decided to cut my post on 2010 into five parts, as it's just too long for a single one.


Part One: Our Plane
Part Two: Finishing my M.A.
Part Three: Our New Jobs
Part Four: Our Trip Out West
Part Five: Our Wedding


It was quite the year!

During the first few years of our relationship, MB and I talked a lot about whether or not we'd go through the wedding process again. After thinking hard about it, writing all about it in my blog (it helped me to write out what I was thinking!), and making lists of why I thought marriage was important, I decided I still wanted to get married. I couldn't imagine myself never marrying, whereas MB grew up in a place where most people live in common-law relationships forever (Quebec). None of his friends are married -- that's the norm there. But after a lot of honest, hard discussions, it was MB who said he understood that marriage was like taking your relationship to another level. It was about commitment. It was about asking yourself -- and your partner -- the hard questions. Talking about the future together. Obviously, you don't need to get married to have all these discussions. But a wedding makes it "official". And for us, if we hadn't decided to marry our exes, we both think we might still be with them, just coasting along...

We got engaged in May 2010. I thought there was no need for a formal "proposal", and that "proposing" to me was much too old-fashioned, I even said I didn't want an engagement ring. But my husband insisted he wanted to "ask me properly". What I hated about this was knowing he wanted to get married too, but having to wait for him to make it official. Luckily, I was busy finishing my Master's degree during that time, so I didn't have too much time to think about it. A few days after I submitted my thesis, we took off on a cross-country trip, and he proposed while we were flying through the Rocky Mountains. It was such a beautiful moment... and we actually made the front page of the local paper with our "romantic story"! It almost seemed unfair that here I was, not even wanting an actual proposal, making many jealous with my "fairy tale" story.

We decided to get married that fall... five months after the official engagement. We had already discussed where we wanted to have it (his hometown) and what we wanted the ceremony to look like (the whole thing written by us, and not religious). We talked a bit about eloping, but decided in the end that it was really important to us to have our closest friends and family there. MB is particularly close to his mom's side of the family, so we knew we had to have them there. We chose to have many guests, with a buffet-type meal and no open bar, rather than a more intimate wedding with only a few guests and a sit-down meal.

The fact that we had only five months to plan for such a big event meant that I could say "no bridesmaids -- too complicated and too expensive!" "No, I'm not making any fancy invitations, I don't have time!" (We sent out postcards, and I put all the details on a no-frills website.) The room wouldn't have been decorated at all if it wasn't for my mom's offer to print out old photos of MB and I in black and white and string them around the room. I didn't have time to make anything crafty. And the ceremony site wasn't decorated at all -- we figured the sunset would be scenic enough (it was!). I let MB's stepmother pick out my flowers (I just said, "anything red!"), and my friend M assembled the bouquet for me the morning of the wedding.

In the province of Quebec, anyone can ask for permission to "stand in" for a Justice of the Peace and perform ONE wedding ceremony (well, as long as you don't have a criminal record!). Our good friend and skydiving coach JL offered to officiate for us. My little brother played the guitar and sang as we walked into the room (we really wanted to walk in together -- even if I'm super close to my dad, we wanted the symbolism of walking in together -- as in, we are embarking on this journey together).

We lucked out on our choice of venue. I knew this was going to be the most expensive part of the event, but we found a place that didn't charge us a thing for the room rental -- just a fee for catering. the manager kept telling me, "don't worry, there'll be enough food, I'll make sure of it". He was very reassuring, but somewhat nonchalant as well. I figured I would just have to trust him! And I'm so glad I followed my gut with this one - the food was great, it didn't cost us a fortune, and everyone was happy.


The Dress

I actually bought my dress from the "Used Dresses" section of oncewed.com. When MB and I were discussing the wedding (even before we were engaged), I told him that I didn't want to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a dress that I was only going to wear once. In fact, I boasted that I thought I'd be able to find something under $200. After saying that, though, I started looking online for used dresses, wondering if I'd actually find anything for that price. One day, I saw a dress on Once Wed that was EXACTLY my size - the measurements the girl gave were my exact measurements. The dress was simple and elegant. And it was $50! I didn't think twice about it, and ordered it. I figured if it didn't fit, or I changed my mind about it, I could always sell it. Well, when MB proposed just a few months later, I thought -- how easy!

10-10-10


It was such a perfect day. Oh, there were some hiccups -- like the fact that our ceremony site wasn't set up when we got there that morning just to check it out (we ended up moving tables and setting out chairs ourselves!), and that we almost didn't have time to take photos before the wedding because my hair took longer than expected. There were things that didn't work out so well -- like the duet we were supposed to sing in lieu of our "first dance". (One of the microphones wouldn't work, so we awkwardly sang from the same mic... and then moved into dancing right away, forgetting all about our thank-you speech!)

But I'm calling it perfect anyway. I remember waking up that morning with a smile on my face, thinking that today was the day I was marrying MB. I remember hearing my brother start playing Amanda Marshall's "Marry Me" at the beginning of our ceremony and having a shiver of excitement wash over me. I remember walking out into the room and being shocked at how packed it was. I remember everyone cheering me on as I tried to say my vows, but got all choked up (I think someone even yelled out "You can do it, Kim!"). I remember MB's hand gliding down my backside as we kissed - oops! (Married or not, he quickly brought it back up when he realized my dad was right there!) I remember dancing until 3 in the morning and then walking over to the chip stand down the street for greasy poutine (the lineup was too long, so we didn't end up getting any). I remember waking up the next morning and calling MB my "husband" for the first time. It was so strange at first! I'm so glad I have those memories. In the end, that's all that counts.